Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize