I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
