chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize