ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just sucked dick on a ferry
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
