There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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