why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize