Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Found the puke drawer
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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