I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
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Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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