Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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