Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
