I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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