I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
