Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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