I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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