had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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