I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize