highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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