those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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