Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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