That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
