the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
