Midget sex pt 2 tonight
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
