My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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