So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
