thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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