I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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