the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
