I'm really into asian looking animals
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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