Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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