when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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