Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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