I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
