i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
