hotel room ftw
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
