All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
