If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
