He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize