omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
