its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
