You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize