its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just had sex on a roof
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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