Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
