Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
