Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize