he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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