We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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