the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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