why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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