Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
