I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
