My sheets look like a crime scene.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
