i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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