im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
