The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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