Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
A+ Viking dick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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