Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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