It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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