Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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